Intro | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
| Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9
With your
left hand occupied by Thomas, you rode in his shiny Jag with your right hand
clamped onto the door handle. It was a crisp Spring morning – the perfect
weather for driving, top down, to the countryside. It was his niece’s birthday
party, and he couldn’t have been more excited to introduce his family to the
woman he loved – and you couldn’t have been more nervous.
“Meeting your family is one
thing, but meeting everyone at once? At a birthday party full of screaming
five-year-old’s?” you asked. It’s been a source of constant anxiety ever since
he first mentioned it last month. It really wasn’t fair – he’d asked
over the lovely breakfast he made after a morning spent making love. How could
you say no? You would have agreed to practically anything that day.
“They’ll love you. I know
they’ll love you,” he said for perhaps the hundredth time.
“I don’t know they’ll love me. I like kids, but… they never really
like me,” you said, a knot forming in your stomach. This was going to be awful.
“Listen, I know you’re anxious,”
he said, taking a tighter grip on your hand. “But at the end of the day, it’ll
all be over. And it never goes as horribly as you expect, right?”
He had a point. You had to try –
he deserved that much. And if they were anything like Thomas, they would be lovely.
“Just remind me to take a breath once in a while, okay?”
“Okay,” he said, bringing your
hand to his lips for a kiss. Holding your hand close to his heart, he flicked his turn signal on and exited the highway. Skyscrapers and apartment buildings faded into single-family homes with minivans in the driveways and swimming pools in the backyards.
Finally, he turned down a long
driveway stretching across a lush, green lawn. You immediately felt reminiscent
of home – the colorful balloons attached to the mailbox, the Student of the
Month sticker affixed to the family-sized SUV. It stirred something deep within you;
whether it was about your past or your future, you couldn’t be sure.
Stepping out of the car, you
adjusted your skirt. You straightened your necklace, touched up your lip gloss.
Luckily you had remembered a scarf to wear over your hair; it still looked as perfectly
done up as it did when you left home. One less thing to worry about. Thomas
led you up the sidewalk to the front door. Before he rang the bell, he took both
of your hands in his, holding them tight to his chest.
“Just breathe, okay?” You nodded, taking a few deep
breaths. He held you tight against his chest, not letting go until he knew you’d be okay. “Ready?”
“Ready.”
Thomas turned to ring the
doorbell. Only seconds pass before a herd of small children came thundering
towards them. The door flung open, and a little girl with golden curls leapt
into Thomas’s arms. “UNCLE TOMMY!”
“MADDY! There’s my birthday
girl!” Thomas carried the girl into the house, using his free hand to lead you
through the doorway and into the foyer. You were impressed by your first glance
into the mansion – there was a large, wrought iron staircase encircling half
the room, but the framed photos that filled the walls made it feel warm. Taking
a deep breath, you noticed the scent of freshly baked birthday cake in the air. Apparently his sister was also Wonder Woman.
“Is that my brother I hear?” Sarah
walked into the room, and you realized you were now outnumbered by
beautiful blonde Brits. She rushed to her brother’s side, kissing him on both
cheeks.
“We’ve missed him, haven’t we?”
she said to Maddie, who was squirming her way out of Thomas’s arms. She dropped to the floor, looking up at you
with great curiosity.
“I have someone very important I’d like you both to
meet,” he said, kneeling down to be eye-level with little Madison. “This is the
pretty lady I was telling you about.”
“Hello,” you said, suddenly unsure
of where your arms were supposed to be. Madison, with a big pink bow in
her hair, smiled up at you.
“It’s my birthday,” she said in a small voice.
“Happy birthday,” you said with that overly enthusiastic tone that kids loved. You handed her the gift Thomas had picked out and wrapped himself – a box almost as big as she was. Something told you the pink wrapping paper won you some points with the little princess.
“Welcome to our home!” Sarah said as she put her arm around your shoulder, leading you through to the kitchen, decked out in princess party decorations. The long dining table was full of gifts of all sizes, glittering pink cupcakes, and a 3-D cake in the shape of a castle. You suddenly wished you were five years old again. “I apologize
in advance for the insanity. I don’t know what I was thinking letting Maddy
invite her entire class.”
“Your home is so beautiful. It
was such a gorgeous morning for the drive, too,” you said.
“Oh, thank you! We got lucky
with this weather; up until yesterday, it was supposed to be a washout,” Sarah
said with her head in the fridge. She took out another pack of fruit punch
pouches, placing them in a big bowl of ice labelled “Wishing Well.”
Thomas took a seat at the bar
counter, pulling out the stool next to him, motioning for you to have a seat.
You place your bag on the counter as Thomas started rubbing your back. He
leaned over to kiss your cheek, whispering words of encouragement into your
ear. “You’re doing great.”
“Aren’t you two just ADORABLE?!”
Sarah gushed. Your cheeks turned bright red. “We’ve all been dying to meet you, love. You’re all
Thomas talks about these days! Now that you’re here, I only have one question,”
she said, placing her hand on her hip.
“Oh… what’s that?” you said, a
lump rising in your throat.
“Where did you find that
GORGEOUS Chanel bag?!” Relief washed over you. Apparently, acting was a talent
that ran through the entire Hiddleston family.
“Well, actually…” you said
with a sideways glance to Thomas. “My ex-husband bought it for me as a gift. I
considered selling it after the divorce, but I just couldn’t part with it.”
“Honey, never let a man come
between you and your bags,” said Sarah. Before you both could finish laughing,
a crowd of boys dressed as princes came running through the kitchen at top
speed. Madison followed closely behind, pointing her magic wand in what you assumed was an attempt
to turn them all into frogs.
“No running in the house! THOMAS!” Sarah pleaded,
but it was too late; her brother had taken off after his niece, chasing fifteen
screaming five-year-old’s all through the house. He finally caught up to his
precious Maddy, throwing her over his shoulders with cheers and whoops from all
the little boys in the room.
“I see Thomas is universally
adored,” you remarked, watching the madness unfold.
“Oh, you have no idea. He does
things like this – get the kids all riled up while I’m clinging to my last
shred of sanity – and I can’t even be mad, because look at them,” said Sarah. “Madison
completely adores him, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her.”
“It’s so sweet to see that side
of him,” you said softly to yourself.
“Maybe she’ll have some cousins
to play with in the future, hm?” Sarah teased.
You smiled. “Yeah, I mean… look
at him. He’d be amazing.”
The sun was setting as Thomas
drove the two of you back to the city. You’d been quiet for most of the ride
home; spending an entire day with his family had been emotionally exhausting.
Still, you couldn’t help but feel a clutch in your heart when it finally came
time to leave. They were all so lovely, so welcoming. You’d almost forgotten
what it was like to be part of a family.
“Did you enjoy yourself today?”
he asked.
“I did. I didn’t want to leave,
actually,” you said with a confused look on your face.
“Does that surprise you?”
“A little. I’ve gone through
most of my life on my own, never really thinking about what it would be like to
have children, or a family, but…” you trailed off.
“But today got you thinking
about it,” he finished. There was a long stretch of silence as you tried to swallow
the sob caught in your throat. Thomas took your hand and squeezed. “May I ask
why that makes you sad?”
You wiped the tears from your
eyes, taking deep breaths to loosen the tightness in your chest so you could
speak. “I never had a real family. My parents were never around, so
I left for the city as soon as I turned 18. I – I just thought I wasn’t someone
who could have that. Not everyone gets a family with children and cousins and
uncles, and I just figured I was one of them.”
Thomas blinked a tear away from
his eyes as he pulled the car into the garage at your apartment. The fact that
the woman he loved – a woman who deserved everything in the world – thought she
didn’t deserve a family, broke his heart.
“Well, I didn’t expect to have
this conversation in the car, but…” he turned to face you, holding your face in his slender hands. “If you want a family with children and cousins and uncles, it
would be my honor to give that to you. To have that with you. If you need time to sort through your feelings about it,
then take all the time you need,” he said. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know,” you said, wrapping
your arms around him, burying your face in his neck. You did need time to think about it – these were
life-altering decisions, after all. After three marriages, all of which you
knew were doomed to failure, you felt safe in never having to confront your
fear of having a broken family. Maybe you were letting your emotions get the
best of you, but seeing Thomas so overjoyed to play with his niece had opened
your eyes to the possibilities that had long ago been locked away inside your heart.
Maybe a family was what you’d been missing all along.
Painfully Thick Imagines 